Updated September 2020
In an effort to give you a glimpse into my life, I would like to tell you a true story. I have entitled it, “My Mom Washes Dishes!”
“My Mom Washes Dishes”
About 8 years ago, my then 6-year old son made a statement that pierced my heart and revealed to me a truth about me.
It was Open House night at his school and parents were invited to come into the school, visit their children’s homeroom classes, and look at all the work they had done so far. One of the items on display was a booklet that each student made about their family. I leafed through my son’s booklet with pride in my heart at his not-so-perfect drawings and well-worded sentences. I got to the section of the booklet where the child would tell what his parents did for a living.
I read what he wrote about his father: “My dad helps people make more money.” (At that time, his dad was a Financial Analyst/Investment Officer.) I smiled at his simplification of his dad’s job. Then I excitedly turned the page to read what he wrote about me. I saw the words, “My mom washes dishes.” My heart plummeted in humiliation and shocked horror. MY MOM WASHES DISHES!!! What must these people think of me?
Couldn’t he have written, “My mom is a pastor?” After all, by then, I had been pastoring for 9 years. I had travelled as a preacher and teacher of the word ministering in a number of Caribbean islands: Anguilla, St. Maarten, St. Kitts, Saba and Dominica, and in the USA in the states of Florida, Connecticut, South Carolina and North Carolina. He had been on at least 3 of those trips.
Couldn’t he have written, “My mom is a principal?” For 7 years, I was a principal of an inclusive school in Antigua, the first of its kind on the island. His dad and I had founded that school in 2006. After all, that was his first school. He spent the first 4 ½ years of his life at that school. How could he have forgotten?
Then I thought that the least he could have written was, “My mom is a teacher.” Hadn’t teaching been my profession for over 20 years? Didn’t I earn a Teaching Diploma in Special Education from the Mico Teachers College in collaboration with the University of the West Indies in Kingston, Jamaica AND possessed a Bachelors of Science degree in Exceptional Student Education from the Florida Memorial University in Miami, Florida?
MY MOM WASHES DISHES?
MY MOM WASHES DISHES?
MY MOM WASHES DISHES?
I was soooooo hurt. Nonetheless, I bottled up my hurt, tucked it away, and carried on through the rest of the Open House Night with a smile on my face.
When we arrived home, I asked my son, “John, how come you wrote, “My mom washes dishes,” to explain to the teacher what I do? His response was that it seems like I am always in the kitchen washing dishes. I wake up before them, fix their breakfast, then wash dishes. I drop them off to school, pick them up, feed them dinner, then wash dishes. I help them with their homework, watch TV with them, feed them supper, have devotions, then wash dishes. He said, “Mummy, that’s what you do. You take care of us. That’s what I was trying to tell the teacher.” I left that conversation with less hurt, but I felt belittled and disappointed that all my child saw me as was a dish washer.
Now years after my son wrote those piercing words, I embrace them because I have come to understand what the cause of the humiliation and disappointment was. The spirit of the world had seeped in. In the world, we are validated by what we do. Value is ascribed to one’s profession or position of employ. My husband is a doctor. My wife is an environment specialist. Names and titles are tweaked to portray one’s importance or rank in society. A professional is viewed in a different light than a dish washer. Someone who works outside of the home than someone who is a stay-at-home mom.
I had yet to understand that my assignment, and consequently who I am, was not wrapped up in a title. My title came as a result of my assignment and my assignment came from who I am. It didn’t matter what I was called. What mattered is who God said I am. On what was I expending my energies? To what was I giving all of me? Was it that which God had designed me for?
Now I embrace those words: ““My mom washes dishes.” Those words affirm the fact that I am fulfilling one of my greatest assignments; that of a mother and wife, a care-taker, a watcher. The mother/wife that I am determines the teacher that I am, the principal that I am, the pastor that I am. My assignments are all linked. They are all interconnected. They all are an expression of ME and have the true ME at their core.
So who is this blogger with whom you’ll be taking this journey? A mom who washes dishes. I am the proud wife of Pastor Thad Wharton and mother of Persephanie, Tamera ( actually my sister-in-law but I have adopted as one of my own children), Grace, and John. We all, except Persephanie, reside in South Carolina, USA.
Updated December 2021